Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Saying Goodbye

On July 25 my dad left this earth to be with my mom.  One of life's great mysteries was revealed to my family and I when on the last day of his life he said he saw my mom and she was waiting for him with open arms.  It was heartbreaking yet beautiful.  Selfishly I wanted to shout, no!, don't go, but for my dad, it was right.  He was only in the hospital for nine days and we all (his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren) were able to send him off with love.  



My dad was 87 years young, and sharp as a tack even on the day he left us.  To this day, I don't know if I would find anyone who has a memory as keen as my dad's.  Perhaps it was his lifelong love of crossword puzzles or just his lifelong love of learning.  Heck, he had a Facebook account and an ipad!  I really don't know anyone else who knew so much about so many things.  He had that incredible ability to find something to talk about with anyone in the room, and really made everyone feel loved and welcome.  We have many, many great memories, and I hope to start jotting down a few each week.  My memory is not half his was!

My mother instilled the love of fabric and sewing in me, but my dad nurtured that love of working with my hands.  He made so many wooden objects for all of us:  toy trains, step stools, doll houses, end tables, newspaper holders, quilt racks, rocking horses, doll cradles, coat racks.   I guess this may be why one of my daughters is a quilter, and the other loves to work with wood with her saws and router.  It is such a great legacy to leave behind.  You don't realize how much you cherish those items when their maker is no longer with you.  



As quilters, we can do the same thing.  My dad signed each wooden item with his initials underneath; RJM.  We can use labels.  I need to start labeling!  Perhaps we make our quilts wishing we didn't have to use a certain color or fabric,  or perhaps we find it hard to part with a favorite fabric, or we fill every hour we spend making them thinking of the recipient.  Whatever it may be, when that quilt is given to the recipient, you/I/we have just added to our legacy, and if we put labels on our quilts, we will be remembered for generations.  

Here is a picture of my dad at age 81 holding a copper bucket of beer at a family reunion in Wsconsin. My huge family owned a small market and a tavern at the turn of the century.  The story is that my great grandparents let each of their nine nine daughters run the tavern for a year after they married.  All profits were used to purchase a home for themselves.  The copper bucket was used in place of aluminum cans or bottles.  In 1910, when you wanted to enjoy a beer at home, you went to the tavern and filled your bucket for 10 cents and the copper kept it cold.  This bucket is always a crowd pleaser at our family reunions, with over 300 people attending.





9 comments:

Lisa D. said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful man, father, grandfather and friend.

Teresa Silva said...

So sorry for your loss....he sounds like he was a great man! Glad you had him for so long.

Barbara Sindlinger said...

So sorry for your loss. How wonderful that he saw your mom waiting for him. Bless you and all your kin.

Vicki in MN said...

What a beautiful story Mary, thanks for sharing it. Your parents remind me of my own in that dad did lots of woodworking and my mom was the sewer-I learned way better from her than I did my dad. No matter how much I wanted to make wood stuff I just didn't do good with it. I'll stick to sewing, LOL

Esther said...

Wow, what a tribute to your Dad, he sounds like a treasure. I am so happy you have so many great memories, it sounds like you had a special relationship with him.

MariQuilts said...

I'm so sorry for your loss....I know how hard it can be.

Karens Quilts, Crows and Cardinals said...

Sending love your way Mary, I'm so very sorry for your loss. A week or so before my dad passed from cancer, after spending countless hours together with him in his shop, he shared with me that my gramma, his mom, had visited and told him everything would be fine - that he would be safe to come to her. I felt the relief along with the turmoil then - but since he passed, although sad, my heart was able to accept that he had others to watch out for him now. I hope you don't mind my sharing this. Blessings my friend...

Furball Farm Quilting said...

Mary, I really want to reach out and give you a big cyber hug. It's so hard saying goodbye to our loved ones, but I really love that your father let you all know that your mother was waiting for him. How nice, ...... comforting, and knowing it was time to meet up with her again. I'm sorry for your loss, ...... but happy your father is in a nice place. What a wonderful tribute to an obviously great man. Take care.

Michele said...

I'm so sorry but he sounds like a wonderful man. I hope your cherished memories will give you peace and comfort.

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